Friday, 30 December 2016

Independence of Living is seniors's Right

Today morning I received a phone call from senior would like to be the member of Madhur Bhav. He had called me three to four times earlier too. He came in the morning and wanted to take the admission immediately and had brought the chequebook with him, I told him that Ajoba we need your son to be here to take admission and let me speak to him, on his request he said that he will stay here and will not go back home. I allowed him to stay with us for a day.
When he started speaking about his trouble at home, all my seniors had similar stories around. It breaks my hearts when a fight is over some trivial issues. I kept thinking what complaints made by seniors are genuine or no since we don’t know the other part of stories I console the seniors and advise him.
Senior had lost his wife and children took a decision to sell the village house and advise him to stay in Pune.  He has decided to stay with younger son who has the bigger flat.  After few months, daughter in law started behaving is very indifferently and not giving him food in time, asking them to adjust too much for breakfast, low volume for radio. It hurts when you make verbal Abuse. Senior had good time and evening six o’clock his son came to Madhur Bhav and told him go and sit in the car  ( very demanding Voice ) and asked us how much to pay for one day.Senior refuse to go back and I keep wondering who was right, I am happy at least that son feel for father and don’t want him to be part of Madhur   Bhav and at same time why  Senior can’t take his own decision to stay, where the dignity of life is well maintained and their independence till last breath.  Senior Community Living is the need of an hour.

Monday, 28 November 2016

Saying goodbye is difficult .

I was   in office at Madhur Bhav , one relative comes with the fair elegant lady ( age 67) . she came to see the facility as she is alone in Pune and her daughter is the USA  ,  she look around and said it's very impressive building and may in future when my daughter is in Pune will think of staying here., I did ask her about her family background , to my surprise she was staying close to our house many years back and had very good bungalow ( now it is Big commercial building worth 8-9 cr. ) 
I thank them for the visit  , her relatives brought two bags of clothes and said Kaku now you have to stay here only as they were to take admission in next month . I could see her expression and could not control my tears and went outside . I resolve myself saying that we really don’t know the other part of the story . We at Madhur Bhav  provide the place for their independence till the last breath . Initially, she was getting well dress for any festivals at MadhurBhav and got herself engage and I too was happy that irrespective rushing in admission where her choice was not there and came as surprise element ,  after many years she became ill and into semi-coma where all my staff was praying to relieve her from pain . 
Months passed by her daughter came from abroad to see , she was in pain to see her mother 
Ajji  had lost her son at the very young age of 38 due to heart attack and even before 10 days passed , she threw her pregnant daughter in law out of  the house in fear of property  to be claimed by her .( insecurities )  I can't imagine the struggling daughter in law gone through. But who has nobody God is always with them ?After many years on death bed , she is wanting to see  her daughter in law and grandson. 

Where daughter in law refuses to visit her in last days. I believe that sometimes death settles all the issues related to life .Ajji wanted to seek permission to die , seek forgiveness . Death makes you realized your deeds were wrong and then you try to settle them after many years . Human relations are like glass , one should handle with care before it breaks.
Sometimes saying goodbye to life is difficult .
Ajji passed away in three months without seeing her daughter in law and grandson. 

Saturday, 1 October 2016

One story - Two Point of view

It was my regular evening round at Madhur Bhav- meeting
Ageing with Joy
all  seniors, talking to them about life always gives you an insight of new things. It's each time a learning experience. One of my supervisor told me that a new couple has come and they have some issues with the staff, so much that they constantly complain about the facilities, food, services.
I decided to visit them. Both of them were highly educated. The Ajoba  was  High rank officer and his wife was running  trust  for under privileged children . Their son is   Editor of English News Paper. 

I was firstly surprised to see them in Madhur Bhav, I asked them very politely," Ajji what are your problems? Which staff don’t listen to you?" I called supervisor and scolded her in front of them that gave them the confidence that I am someone who they can confine to and rely on. 
After sorting their worries and issues regarding the staff and facilities, I enquired about their background Of all that they shared with me, I realized that, all their life, they lived in a Bunglow of 8 rooms with garden (Bonsai) which they mentioned with pride. But in last few days   they got in the facility which is confined to one room with small cupboards and spaces .they were unhappy about the arrangement. This was done by their son to sell the property and so he brought in medical assisted living for them, without taking them in to confidence.
Question to me here is, what was the haste to sell the property? What kind of emotional trauma parents must have gone through while adjusting in the new set up? I shared this with a young boy at the Madhur Bhav. He said, that he have kept his parents in five star facility and not thrown on street. Why crib?
And I realize
Generation gap will prevail!! All generations.

After two years ajoba passed away and his son could not come , that gave ajji so much pain that she became numb after that and passed away within two months.