One story - Two Point of view
It was my regular evening round at Madhur Bhav- meeting
all seniors, talking to them about life always gives you an insight of new things. It's each time a learning experience. One of my supervisor told me that a new couple has come and they have some issues with the staff, so much that they constantly complain about the facilities, food, services.
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| Ageing with Joy |
I decided to visit them. Both of them were highly educated. The Ajoba was High rank officer and his wife was running trust for under privileged children . Their son is Editor of English News Paper.
I was firstly surprised to see them in Madhur Bhav, I asked them very politely," Ajji what are your problems? Which staff don’t listen to you?" I called supervisor and scolded her in front of them that gave them the confidence that I am someone who they can confine to and rely on.
After sorting their worries and issues regarding the staff and facilities, I enquired about their background Of all that they shared with me, I realized that, all their life, they lived in a Bunglow of 8 rooms with garden (Bonsai) which they mentioned with pride. But in last few days they got in the facility which is confined to one room with small cupboards and spaces .they were unhappy about the arrangement. This was done by their son to sell the property and so he brought in medical assisted living for them, without taking them in to confidence.
Question to me here is, what was the haste to sell the property? What kind of emotional trauma parents must have gone through while adjusting in the new set up? I shared this with a young boy at the Madhur Bhav. He said, that he have kept his parents in five star facility and not thrown on street. Why crib?
And I realize
Generation gap will prevail!! All generations.
After two years ajoba passed away and his son could not come , that gave ajji so much pain that she became numb after that and passed away within two months.
A very touchy story, but that's the harsh reality of life. Whenever I come across such stories, the learning I get is always keep financial security and assets in own name till you live.
ReplyDeleteA very touchy story, but that's the harsh reality of life. Whenever I come across such stories, the learning I get is always keep financial security and assets in own name till you live.
ReplyDeleteThanks and we should plan for old age at young time only and learn to say no to kids too
DeleteThe indian middle class families always get emotionally involved a bit too much in their children. They work hard so that their next generation is comfortable and secured. In this they loose focus of enjoying their own life and go through the hardships TO GIVE ALL THEY HAVE TO NEXT GEN. its high time we should realize the generation gap and accept that world is becoming materialistic. lets accept the fact and bitter truth that even our children can be affected by surroundings and cultural changes. Early we realize this better we will be prepared mentally and start partial detachment near and dear ones, less will be the pain in old age.
ReplyDeleteThanks Milind , we should be able to decide for ourself and not kids and yeah let them grow on thier own , too much of love and pamper goes in such situtation
DeleteGood sharing.
ReplyDeleteFurther commendable aspect is that you abstained from valuse judgements.
Generation Gap is the correct root cause behind the selling of property by their son and relocating them to a caring facility like yours. Attitudes change with time .
Good piece of text.
Hope you spare time in letting us know your observations while running this facility which is the need of the hour.
Happy sharing.
Thanks uday , every seniors has story in them and worth sharing and learning , my questions to myself our attitude that its not happening with my family ;why intervene
DeleteTime will come where we will have to take stand for such interventions within families like brother , sisters , in laws
I think the problem is that we are notable to put ourselves in to shoes of the other persons and have expectations. The younger generation have a number of problems posed by "Plenty". The competition is severe. Our generation and find must accept reality and learn new hobbies, listen to old songs etc. Anjali, we could teach them simple art like Origami they could paint. etc. (This itself may be due to my limitation of empathizing with them.
ReplyDeleteSubhash Dixit
Thanks Subhash Dada , I agree with you completely , that's why madhur Bhav is full of Most Happening place for seniors all the time , to take away their pain and engage in them with activities every day
DeleteRelationship between parents & their son.
ReplyDeletewhile talking about this problem specially ,the parents child relationship was good ? what are your observations?
1.there can be communication gap from both the sides.
2. After understanding their problem, they would have given emotional assistance,
3. along with hobby development like what Subhash Dixit is suggesting.
then it could br easier for them to get adjusted in the new environment.
Aparna Thakar
Thanks Aparna , You have given a different perspective to story , may be thier relationship could be better with simple communication and children can discuss thier problems with parents too
ReplyDeleteTouching Story , Anjali. As a child, I have seen a similar thing happen to an elderly lady, a neighbor of ours. There is a need for each of us to introspect and be more understanding of the emotional needs of the elderly. With the generation gap increasing between Parents and children, I think there needs to be an effort to find a common ground on both sides
ReplyDeleteDear Indira,
DeleteMany thanks for your feedback and we need to be gental and we all will be going from the same age after few years , Must realise the same