Sunday, 27 August 2017

Plan before or regret later

Care at Madhur Bhav
There are lots of calls and updates every day from Madhurbhav. But this one was a little disturbing. One morning, a (seemingly) regular call turned out to be more than just that. I was told that Kulkarni Ajji (Name Changed) was not keeping well for the last four days. Her daughter had strictly instructed us not to admit her to the hospital because their family would be busy for a few days to come and could not visit if needed. The daughter added, she should be brave and not complain about little things to the Madhurbhav staff and them.

She was admitted to Madhurbhav, for complete rest, as she wasn’t able to do anything on her own and was also not able to sleep on the bed. Having fractures in her hip bones, she was restricted to the wheel chair. Surgery was neither safe nor useful for her, because of her age limitations. Her damaged bone condition made it difficult to withstand any medical procedure. Rest was the only alternative. Imagine constantly being on a chair, not being able to lie down on the bed even for half an hour and having bandaged legs because of constant swelling.

Madhurbhav is assisted care facility. As far as possible we try to give all the required treatments (medical) and care like RT feed, bed sores management, catheter etc.

When I went to Madhurbhav, Ajji was palpating and gasping. Her family was insisting not to admit her to the hospital. They were concerned about soaring expenses if the hospital admitted her to the ICU. At times humans become so insensitive! At one point they said, ‘let us talk to the doctors treating her and then we shall take a decision.’ I went to ajji and told her, "we need to go to the hospital". She refused but then I promised her that the expenses will be taken care by me / Madhurbhav.
I had to tell her relatives that we can’t wait for their approval as she is in serious condition and that they might not even see her next. I suppose that is what made them decide to reach Pune ASAP.

I have been working with seniors for a decade, and when relatives provide a DNR (Do not resuscitate), it is very painful for me. What is more important to them, money or the health and well being of their family member? Providing DNR is like denying their right to live. For a terminal illness like cancer, we can understand the DNR. But for something like dehydration, weakness, etc when family members don’t allow us to take patients to the hospital, it’s surprising and heartbreaking!

I think as parents and responsible individuals, we should plan very well and secure ourselves financially for such later times, so that we do not have to be victims of these dark shades of humans, where and when they prioritize money over lives of their family members.

Sunday, 11 June 2017

First resident of Blossom


As the saying goes, ‘If difficulties surround you, if you don’t fit in the box, if you don’t belong to the league, if you are different, YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE.’
I received an inquiry from Mumbai about ‘Madhur Bhav Blossom’(Nere). A Lady; along with her friend came down to see the facility. They told us about Pravin;  their brother in law.
Swati and Sanjay are married for more than 45 years and were looking after Pravin.
Pravin is Sanjay's  Younger brother and Swati is his caring sister-in-law.
I could thoroughly understand, how Swati and Sanjay were committed to him as a family. But, with growing age and their own health was getting difficult to look after him.
When Swati narrated to me about Pravin, I got a little nervous; as we have worked with seniors and their ailments. This was an absolutely new and delicate case. Then after discussing it with my team; we thought let's give it a try and see how can we handle it?
 Pravin came on 26th Jan 2015, our first Resident of Blossom and then followed by another Couple from Nashik where the husband is an army officer and wife is in Alzheimer's advance stage.
Initially, Pravin was reluctant to go out of the premises. He was very fond of our manager, Vitthal. He is in a situation where his age is 67, but brain growth, that of a 10-year  old ( Mild Autistic). He is totally adorable as a person. He remembers all the birthdays, right from the staff to the residents. he knows my family members birthdays too. of course, there is a child in him, it's difficult to get him to take bath, to make him eat well.
But like I said, he is different. He surprises me every time with his ways of expressions, naughtiness, innocence and loving attitude towards every one of us. He recites Sai Bhajans and manages to make everyone in the house smile. He is very good in carom and enjoys playing it with our daddy's.He cleans the face of other seniors and wears his heart on his sleeves while offering roses to our grannies.
It was his birthday yesterday and we had a little celebration for him . he danced his heart out. All the members and staff are very fond of him. He has also taken the responsibility of writing, the names of the visitors and he carries his book along with him everywhere without fail. Even when I have visitor’s he makes sure, they make an entry too. Some serious dedication huh? Not even professionals manage that kind of attitude!
That is our Pravin for you.

 We feel lucky to have him and about the fact that, we are the CHOSEN ONES FOR THIS CHOSEN ONE.

Sunday, 4 June 2017


We were on a running Speer for a month! And it finally turned out to be absolutely beautiful and memorable one.
On the occasion of its 3rd anniversary, Madhurbhav and ASCOP collaborated to celebrate and entertain everyone on May 30th Tuesday.  The evening was light, soothing and mesmerising as it saw all our YOUNG Madhur BH avians in their energetic high as always.
For a month long, the staff, board members and every member
 of Madhurbhav family were looking forward and preparing for this evening. The seniors were very enthusiastic and actively participating in the program setting.
We had, Sur Palavi entertainment from Pune, presenting a live orchestra for the evening. The artists took the atmosphere of the program to another level, with their beautiful voices. They treated the audience with evergreen numbers of the 70’s.  Everyone seemed to be totally drenched in the rhythm of those musical chords and wonderful voices.
To add the cherry on the cake, our young madhurbhavians had prepared skits, which represented them as actors, and the ones who witnessed will agree, they were none less than any stars. Total dedication, stage presence; they put their soul in all the performances. Through the skits, they depicted some personal experiences, shared thoughts and I am sure everyone was overwhelmed by the message their performances gave. There is always so much to learn from them, about anything and everything of life. It’s a never-ending process, and this evening was one of them.
The honorable guests, who graced the program with their presence, Mrs.Jyoti Ratanparkhi  (madhurbhav well-wisher ), Jaywant Gore ( Associate  Director Purdue University US),  Amol Agavekar  Maharashtra Times  Amol Balwadkar  (corporator Aundh), Mrs. Archana  Musale(corporator Aundh), Mrs. Swapnali Saykar (corporator Baner), Mr .sanket Chondhe ( representative- corporator  Mrs Chondhe, Pimple Nilakh). We are extremely glad and thankful to mention Mrs. Ratanaparkhi & Mr. .sanket chondhe made major contributions of Rs 1 lac each, which will be used for Madhurbhav Bliss (specialised for post-operative recovery & Alzheimer).
Mr Ajit Gadgil from PNG Jewelers and Kaka Halwai  Pune, graciously came forward with the contribution of Rs 15000/- each.  The fund raised by our audience contribution summed up to Rs 20,600/-
The entire fund raised during this event, was totally by the choice of the people who made the contribution as per their wish. Our event had a free entry; the donations that have come will be solely used for the making and betterment of Madhurbhav bliss.
* All Future expenses our looked after by our A J Foundation  (NGO), Through Fund Raising Events, Donations & Sponsorships*

Sunday, 7 May 2017

Madhur Bhav Senior Living Home: त्यांच्या गरजेला आणि तुमच्या काळजीला, ...

Madhur Bhav Senior Living Home: त्यांच्या गरजेला आणि तुमच्या काळजीला, ...: Age with Grace  आयुष्यातील सर्वात मोलाची संपत्ती म्हणजे सुद्रुढ आरोग्य. आजची वेगाने बदलत असलेली जीवनशैली , आणि त्या शर्यतीत पुढे राहण्...

Friday, 5 May 2017

त्यांच्या गरजेला आणि तुमच्या काळजीला, आमचे समाधान- "मधुरभाव"

Age with Grace 
आयुष्यातील सर्वात मोलाची संपत्ती म्हणजे सुद्रुढ आरोग्य. आजची वेगाने बदलत असलेली जीवनशैली, आणि त्या शर्यतीत पुढे राहण्यासाठी धावणारे आपण.

अनेक प्रकारचे पदार्थ आज बाजारात आहेत, पण शरीराला गरजेची असलेले पौष्टिकता त्यात दुर्मीळच. 
या सार्याचा परीणाम स्वरूप,  अकाली आपल्या पैकी अनेकांना, मणक्याचे आजार, जसे स्पोंडीलायटीस, स्पाईन-नर्वह डिप्रेशन, तर कधी गुडघे दुखी,सांधे दुखी आणी असे बरेच त्रास होतात. यामुळे, अनेक बंधने येऊ लागतात ; शरीरावर आणि जीवनशैली वर  देखील.

अशा परिस्थितीत स्वःला वेळ देणे, योग्य  काळजी  घेणे हेच आजच्या काळात अवघड होऊन बसले आहे,तर आपल्या कुटुंबातील लोकांना हवे-नको बघणे,वेळ देणे, आजार पणात व त्या नंतरची काळजी लक्षपूर्वक आणि आपुलकीने घेणे तितकेच महत्वाचे आहे पण; हे कसे जमवायचे?  त्यांची व स्वःची आबाळ न होऊ देता कसे निभवायचे? ही काळजी सत्त असते.

मधुरभाव कुटुंब, गेले 3 वर्ष, व्रुद्धांसाठी आणि व्रुद्धां बरोबरनावात असलेल्याला मधुर भावनेने  काम करीत आहे. येथे, त्यांच्या मानसिक,शाररिक आणि भावनिक गरजा लक्षात घेऊन काम केले जाते. आनंदी आणि सक्रीय आयुष्य जगण्याची ईच्छा सगळ्यांना असते. मात्र आजार, एकटेपण आणि त्यांने निर्माण होणारी असहायता, निराश करते. या कटू अनुभवाला मधुर करण्याचा विडा मधुरभावने उचलला आहे.

एकट्या आजारी आईवडिलांची काळजी, परदेशात राहणार्‍या मुलांना सतावते. नोकरदार दाम्पत्यांही  बाहेर न निघता येणे, कारण घरी व्रुद्ध -आजारी व्यक्ती आहेत, तर कधी लग्न कार्य  आहे किंवा स्वःला एखाद्या वैद्यकीय मदतीची गरज आहे, मात्र घरात आजारी वडीलधारी मंडळी आहे त्यांना सोडून जाता येत नाही. असे अनेक प्रश्न निर्माण होत असतात.

या सारखा प्रश्नांवर उत्तर म्हणून  मधुरभाव  या वर्षी सुरु करत आहे, "पोस्ट ऑपरेटिव्ह रिकव्हरी" यासाठी एक विशिष्ट शाखा. येथे पॅलियाटीव्ह केर (वैद्यकीय शसत्रक्रियां नंतरची काळजी ) आणि हाॅसपाईस केर (रुग्णांची काळजी) यात विशेष काम केले जाईल. अतिशय कर्तव्यनिष्ठ, धैर्यशील, पात्र असे करमचारी वर्ग या कामात निपुण आहेत.
प्रत्येक कुटुंबीयांची गरज समजून, त्याचा लक्षपूर्वक आभ्यास करुन ती भागवली जाईल.

लिफ्टची सुविधा, माॅर्डन एमिनीटीज,ईक्विपमेंट्स, स्वच्छ परिसर,ईत्यादी सुविधा उपलब्ध आहेत.
सेंद्रीय भाज्या आणि फळे देण्याचा पुर्ण प्रयत्न केला जातो. घरा बाहेर, घरासारखे सुरक्षित आणि आनंदी घरकुल देण्याचा हा प्रामाणिक प्रयत्न आहे.
मर्यादित ते दिर्घकाळ राहण्याची सोय येथे शक्य आहे. अधिक माहितीसाठी आणि बुकिंगसाठी काॅल करा किंवा स्वःता भेट द्या.

त्यांच्या गरजेला आणि तुमच्या काळजीला, आमचे समाधान- "मधुरभाव"

Saturday, 22 April 2017

Post operative care facilities ; a relief for Seniors.

I received a call from a south Indian senior lady. Her husband had undergone a surgery and there was no one to look after him or take care of his post-operative needs. They were the only ones for each other. No children, no immediate family to help. I can imagine the lady in her 70’s and her helplessness. Her husband required help even to get up from a bed , diaper change, going to the bathroom, he was completely dependent. But, had strong will power to live.
We had just started a few months back and  I visited her, on her request. Looking at the financial condition, I suggested them to have short term stay, until her husband recovers. They were opting to stay at the hospital since  they could manage at home all on their own nor could they afford a personal caretaker or a nurse.
Hospitals were reluctant to keep them for long. As they occupied a  bed and there was no further treatment and diagnosis.
finance was their major concern. Their distant relatives were in Banglore and were suppose to take admission and pay our fees, but no one showed up for three days. The hospitals were charging RS 3000 /- per day compared to Madhur Bhav Rs 1000 per day.
They became so helpless that they offered me to keep their one BHK flat as a mortgage and to be looked after permanently.
I struggled thinking that if I agree with it, and what if I am unable to look after them and provide them all the necessary facilities and care because post-operative treatments are expensive at times. 
The best option I could advise them was a post-operative recovery for three months at MadhurBhav. it was the best  I could do,  to give them some relief,  so as to avoid any further delay.  They were with us for 2 months. We looked after them efficiently and tried to serve our best to them. After two months they went home and are now being looked after by one on their neighbors and are living a healthy life.
Post-operative care is an area where India needs more special care facility and that is what our third center of Madhur bhav going to do, be a  hospice/respite care/rehabilitation center for seniors citizens.
Looking forward to giving best services and make a change.
A change that will create a difference.

Stay connected for the updates of the third wing of MadhurBhav, Which specializes in post-operative cares.

Coming soon.

Monday, 3 April 2017

Today’s Truth: Why mend when you can replace?

 Happiness with  Madhur Bhav
I sometimes feel, this whole, “Practicality” issue, about this young generation, does even exist or are we just judging them on certain parameters and abiding them by it? I guess it’s all about who you are? How you’ve been? And what you want? It’s about choices people make. Choices of being the kind of person you want to be. It’s just not about good or bad. There is so much more to it. We from an exterior front can only term it, like-Self-loving, selfish practical or for that matter anything! But; yes! all of this is extremely thought to provoke, despite all the conjectures that surround it. There is a section of society that has to bear the effect of these changed times and thinking. The one’s who belong to a different era altogether. Ones, who are at the receiving end,

Recently, I had an encounter with a very educated senior. She was absolute, warm and calm. Her name happened to be Anjali, and the moment she heard mine, she exclaimed (in Marathi), अय्या तुम्हीं पण अंजली माँजे पण नाव  Anjali!”  She has a son and  Likes every loving, doting and dutiful mother, she also raised her son to be a qualified, young, ambitious man. Giving him the best of education, providing him with facilities and everything she could do. And as his wings acquired the strength, he flew to reach the sky heights.
And as it happens to many Indian mothers, he took up a job in abroad and decided to never look back to the country. She did visit her son to the states, but with the growing age, travel was taking a toll on her health. She had no option, but to choose a place and so she came back to India. Because, as her eyesight became weaker, she couldn’t help anyone, for that matter not even herself.
After returning, her health suffered from issues and she even developed Alzheimer’s disease (Wherein one forgets things frequently). She then decided to live with us at Madhur have. When she came here, Madhurbhav was just budding in the area of medical and assisted living facility. We tried giving her our best and she loved it here.
She had amazing communication skills, she liked humming songs, and unfortunately she is no more in the state of talking or making conversations. But, when she did, I remember her telling me one day, “if I was healthy enough, my eye sight was better and if I could render some help,  be of some use, my son would have kept me in the US with him, pan at a पण मझा अँधली च्चा काय उपयोग?”  her dear son called his mother-in-law to stay with them, because she was way more healthy and capable of helping them out there.
Aren’t we as kids trying to take advantage of our parents at every point?  Even when the time comes, that needs us to look after them in every possible way. She was not in that worst medical condition, that she couldn’t   be taken care of at home. But her dear son never made any attempt or took efforts to find out, if she can be managed in the US. Near him, with him or may be in assisted living home there in the US. There are certainly better facilities back there.

What hits hard and pains to hear is, This word,काय उपयोग? ” which means, she isn’t useful, she can’t help you in any way
so she isn’t worth being taken care of? Isn’t worth being loved by you? At the stage of life where she is supposed to get the same attention, time, patience that she, her entire life bestowed upon you, you want to find reasons to be with her and taken care of her? Right from uttering words, to walking, to thinking everything, she taught you, held your hand and guided you, without you giving any good reason to her, to do it as a child. And this is what she deserves from you?
We should really find some answers to this, some related to these emotions and not just give it the practical angle and shut it.
There are many cases where children give an excuse while admitting them to Madhurbhav, “we stay on the fourth floor, it’s very difficult for her to move out and in or go out and not every time someone can be around to assist her.”  Like really? Having houses on fourth, fifth or whatever floors is a reason to give up on your parents?
There are also some who openly complain about children at Madhurbhav, about being kept away from them, in one such incident, a senior was raged and started arguing with his daughter. Shockingly, she bluntly said in front of everyone, “we have to work hard to earn, who will look after you and we have our children’s responsibility, their education and everything. You have not left behind a big property for us, that we can look after you and relax.” it’s really sad to know if these people had money, only then they would take care.
Moreover, I think, now a day’s it’s all about escaping conveniently. If replacements are easier than mending, we are all ready to replace lifelong bonds, relations as important as a mother-child relationship. If we don’t see any benefit we immediately replace, but not try to mend it in any way.
There are many such things, almost something in every household. The intensities and issues might differ but; I am happy that we here have created a home and able to provide them with a place, where their dignity of life is secured. Where we don’t need to replace them, we always assure mending for whatever goes wrong. We will never give up on them for any reason. This is their own place and nobody ever asks them to leave, without their will. They can be here in peace and happy until their last breath.

Monday, 27 March 2017

Small Poojan in "Shravan"

Let’s not get into generation gaps, expectations, disappointments and morals, etc, etc, etc. keeping it simple, it’s about seeing a twinkle of happiness in someone’s eyes. Knowing that you can make them smile and happy. And trust me, it doesn’t take much to make someone happy.nd getting that feeling at MadhurBhav house is more special. With the seniors of our house; making them smile and seeing them content is a priceless feeling. Each time we get an opportunity we try our best to grab it and spread Happiness. After all that is what, we live for, that is what ensures their wellbeing.

So, we were having a general conversation, and Mrs Deshpande shared a wonderful experience with me. Two days ago at MadhurBhav, one of the senior was extremely quiet and not in his usual charming and fun mood. He normally isn’t always someone serious and loner type. He will always keep himself busy, spend time with fellow housemates, and be active throughout. His routine medical check up that day also prompted high blood pressure. The Nurse was on her regular round and she informed, Mrs.Deshpande that there definitely is something in his head, that is upsetting him. Always confronting them does not work; they don’t want to shed their layers of hurt or worries, according to our convenience. So she tried a different way. She spoke to some members of the house, some he interacts with closely and shares a nice bond. Then it came to light that, his son had hosted a ” Satya Narayan Pooja”  and he thought he would be invited and taken home at least for the day, he would have lunch with them and then in the evening return to MadhurBhav. Instead, his son came with the “Prasad” for him and that broke his heart.

This is not what made me think, about his son, him, their behaviours, everything put aside. What caught my attention is how MadhurBhav dealt with this.

What the family at Madhurbhav understood was, he was missing being around his people, doing what he loves, worshiping his deity, being around in that auspicious environment and doing the pooja.

So here is what they did, they organised for a Satyanarayana pooja. Involved him in all the preparations, made him take the lead of the little programme. He very willingly participated and performed the pooja with our centre in charge (of Nere) Mr.Vitthal Karan gale.

“His eyes were full of joy, the sight of his happiness was beyond expression. It gives immense satisfaction to fulfil their little dreams at MadhurBhav. It’s their home and it always will be. 
”, said Mrs.Deshpande

The staff and leadership of serving seniors with utmost care and dedication, at MadhurBhav is a known factor but; having the understanding, sensing and smartly dealing with such delicate situations, concerning the seniors. This is commendable because this is possible only if you believe that the people there are your family and giving them that love and affection aren't your duty, but priority.

I have always believed, the love that lasts forever isn’t the one that is always around, it’s the one that emerges from the very roots of one’s soul and connects to others. That is the kind of love shared at MadhurBhav.

Keep spreading joy & love. J

Content credits – Mayuri Narayan Ambekar

Thursday, 16 March 2017

"सोप्या आयुष्या पेक्षा,आनंदी आयुष्य महत्वाचे."

"Ageing with Joy"
मधुरभाव मधे, अनेकदा स्टाफ मेमबर्स,आजी-आजोबा, यांना संवाद साधताना पाहिले. एकमेकाच्या सहवासात हसताना, प्रत्येक क्षण जागताना पाहिले. खरचं हेवा वाटतो! आणि मनात सहज विचार येऊन जातो. कुठेतरी टेक्नोलॉजी, स्मार्टफोन, सोशलिस्ट होण्यात आपण ही मज्जा गमावून बसलोय. प्रत्येक क्षणाची आठवण बनवण्यात ईतके मग्न झालोय की, ते समोर असताना, निसटून जातात तरी समजत नाही.  नक्कीच ही काळाची गरज आहे. सोप्या आयुष्याचे साधन आहे. आता हेच पाहा, माझे हे विचारही मी या आधुनिक माध्यमातून आणि पद्धतीने मांडत आहे. ईतकच वाटते, की सोप्या आयुष्याची सवय अशी झाली आहे की आनंदी आयुष्याचे स्वपन धुरकट होत चालले आहे. म्हणतात ना, वडीलधार्यांकडून घेण्या सारखे खुप असते. आज एक नवा धडा मिळाला,  "सोप्या आयुष्या पेक्षा,आनंदी आयुष्य महत्वाचे." ही वाट धरून पाहूयात,ईतर पळवाटा सोडूयात.


कळत -नकळत कुठे  धाव घेतली  आहे ?
थोडा विचार  केला ,
की समजेल,
आश्चर्य  नक्कीच  वाटेल.
जमले तर बघू,वेळ नाही. "         
आहो,वेळ आपल्या  साठी आहे,
आपण  वेळे साठी नाही!  
बोलायचे आहे! पण, शब्द सापडत नाही."  
अंतकरणी शोधून  पाहा,
फेसबुक अन् व्हाॉट्सएप वर नाही.   
प्रेमाची  परिभाषा  बदलली  म्हणतात,
खरे तर  तिव्रता अटली आहे त्यातली,
ईमोजीज,अपडेटस अन् त्या  धडधडणार्या मोठया लाल ह्रुदयात घुसमटले आहे  सारे
गाठायचे असेल,तर आभाळही गाठाता येते,
पण,मनातच नसेल,
तर पळवाट ही शोधावीचं लागते.